Dealing With Life (Or Trying To)
by The-Right-Girl
Summary: My name is Yoshioka Haru, and I'm envious of the Cat Bureau. Just a short one-shot based on a bit of life.


My name is Yoshioka Haru, and I'm envious of the Cat Bureau.

"Don't try that again, bird brain!"

"You've already used that insult a million times, pudding-cat!"

No, really, I am very envious.

"Come now, you two, must you fight even when Miss Haru is here?" An attractive British accent accompanied by a weary sigh draws my attention from the warring crow and fat, white cat. "Would you care for more tea, Miss Haru?" I turn my head to my left to see the charming, orange and cream cat figurine proffering another tiny cup of his newest blend.

"Of course, Baron. You know I'd never turn it down." I give him a half hearted smile as I take the offered cup and drink it all in one sip. It was delicious, and—like always—I wished again that I was the size of a cat.

"Is there something on your mind, Miss Haru?" Baron stepped closer, tilting his hatted head with concern.

"Several things, actually. Which would you like to hear?" A weak attempt at humor on my part.

_Let's see, my crush on you, how envious I am, my life—or lack thereof…_

"Whichever you wish to talk about."

Did he have to be such a gentleman—gentlecat?—all the time?

Well, there was no way I was going to bring up my crush again, not with the fighting duo in the background, so the second thing was a safer conversation.

"It's just…I guess…I'm kinda envious of the Cat Bureau." There, finally spat it out. I avoid Baron's eyes, looking back at Muta and Toto, the latter having begun to sing a song about fat cats and breaking chairs.

"Why would you be envious?" The cat figurine's surprise and confusion were clear in his voice.

"You guys…" I start, staring at my empty, tiny cup, watching a drop dance around the bottom as I turned it this way and that. "You just…have a set goal, you know what you want, what you're doing—usually—…but not only do I not have a clue what _I_ want to do with my life, I don't…I don't even have the motivation to _do _anything…and even if I do, I find I don't know exactly what to do, or how to, but I _hate _asking questions—and that's when I know _what _to ask, which is rarely—and… and…" I pause in my rant, gritting my teeth as I refused to let tears of frustration and anger at myself fall.

There is a silence as I struggle to regain control of my emotions, and then a soft pressure on my arm makes me turn to Baron. His eyes show concern, and care.

"You just need to find what you enjoy, Miss Haru." He spoke gently, but these were words I've heard before.

"I've been told that before, Baron, and I've _tried!_ I just…I get bored of whatever I try, or frustrated that I can't do something. And what I do enjoy, I know that it won't help me get a job, or money, so I try looking for something else, but…" I shake my head, stopping mid-rant.

"I'm sorry, Baron, but I'm afraid this is just something not even you, or the Cat Bureau, can help with. But thank you, for caring, and for trying." I give a slight smile to my friend and carefully pat his hand before I turn back to watching Muta and Toto, the former now trying to claw his way up the plaza's central pillar.

"Well," Baron begins, removing his hand from my arm. "I—that is, we—will always be here for you, whether you need to talk, or…"

"Rant?" I offer, glancing back with yet another half-hearted smile—apparently I'm very melancholy today. "Thanks, Baron. I will." He nods, and turns his own eyes to the sparring sidekicks of the Cat Bureau.

My name is Yoshioka Haru, and I'm envious of the Cat Bureau.

"At least I can't be mistaken for a feather duster!"

"Hey! The giant cream puff actually came up with a new insult!"

I really am envious of the Cat Bureau.

I smile.

But I love them, too.

* * *

**Yeah, so this is more or less my life right now-minus the Cat Bureau.**

**Sometimes I feel like Gollum- "You don't have any friends; no body likes you!"-but I know that it's my own fault...**

**Is it so wrong that I want to live like a cat? Curled up in warmth, reading, playing games, interacting with people only when _I _want to, which is rarely...**

**Bah!**

**Curse you, reality!**


End file.
